I sit here tapping away at the small glowing keys on my laptop, the rattling sound of the air conditioner rushing through the vents overhead, the room is empty… just me and my thoughts. Sometimes it takes bumping into one of these "alone" moments to make myself stop. Stop, breathe and just thank God for another day. For everything He's brought me through over the years.
Life changes, people change, desires change, times and circumstances change… but trials always have this funny way of staying the same. You hurdle over one and another one is staring you in the face, and there they sit, so bold and vivid it's impossible not to notice them. So more often than not, we find ourselves walking through life, day in day out, with our eyes and hearts constantly focused on and overwhelmed by our trials.
Maybe that's just the Devil's way of keeping us from remembering everything God has brought us through. His way of keeping us so preoccupied and beat down over our circumstances that we never fully believe it's possible to overcome any storm beating against us. His way of keeping us chained to the moment, never seeing the beauty of the day or the hope of tomorrow.
Sometimes it takes that brief second to stop. Stop and look at the trail of footprints behind you, and how many of those prints wear the tread of victory. How many moments things seemed impossible, overwhelming, and yet somehow still another print followed. Sometimes it takes remembering where you came from to really realize where you are, and while life may never be perfect, it's just about putting another print in the sand.
So here's my looking back… A decade ago I ate from the floors of rock bottom. I was homeless, sleeping outside in the freezing cold and pouring rain, pulling food out of dumpsters to eat, bouncing from crack house to crack house, dumping the days of my life down a drain of substance and hate. My enemies sought my life, my friends wanted to kill me, every waking moment felt like walking over hell on a razor blade with the weight of the world bearing down on my shoulders.
So right now, in this moment I stop... Look around me, where I am today, how far I've come and I fight back tears just thinking about everything God has brought me through. Right now in this moment I'm thankful. But thankful is never good enough, it's what we do with thankfulness that allows us to overcome. Me… I simply pour these memories of thankfulness into song. Using this small talent God has given me to to point all my passion and thankfulness back to Him.
My dance with life has been a ride through hell, but there hasn't been one moment along the way where I can look back and say God has ceased to be faithful. There hasn't been one print in the sand where I can look back point and say "Right there! Right there He left me alone". Through all my troubles, all my trials, through every good moment and bad, through all my faults, failures and foolishness. Through every victory and every defeat His hand was upon my life, using every decision, good or bad for His perfect purpose in me.
I may not understand why, I may never understand how, but I have come to understand that the true beauty of knowing God is realizing He works ALL things together for good for those who love Him. I may never understand the storms that lie behind me, nor the storms that lie ahead, but I do understand this; That life is not about sitting and waiting for the storms to pass… it's about lacing your boots, trusting God and learning to dance in the rain.
